Thursday, December 07, 2006

Choosing Gifts


"Now why would a child want 420 squirrels?"

We strongly advocate a presents-free Christmas celebration. It must be announced early, so nobody expects gifts, but once the plan is in place, watch your joy and anticipation grow! Instead of the usual pajama'd sloth around a pile of papered boxes and nervous expectation, plan an outing. Skiing, for instance, or winter bird watching. Sing carols and gather around a steaming caldron of hot, spiced wine. Make prank calls to relatives: "Hello, Aunt Ann? This is Oprah Winfrey."

If you must give gifts, consider these suggestions:

1. A fabric-covered journal that you have partially filled in with writing prompts like "Today might have been the most glorious day of my life," and "If I were the mayor of New York City..."

2. A pint of heavy cream, a ball of wool yarn, and an orange kitten together in a box

3. A first aid kit packed with cherry Halls coughdrops, cloth handkerchiefs, foot cream, the complete first season of All Creatures Great and Small, seran wrap for sucking chest wounds, and neosporin

4. A subscription to a very obscure magazine.

5. Invisible ink

6. A beautiful belt (people rarely get belts as gifts)

7. A good guide to how to quit smoking and a box of fancy black licorice

8. A giant loaf of gingerbread

9. Doctored photographs

10. Loose diamonds

Happy holidays!
J

6 Comments:

Anonymous skd said...

did i tell you about the carr book? someone told me about it and i bought it. it's of course in the closet with my nicorette, but i've heard good things. my next project...
skd

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Mi said...

A great list, I want the kitten and the cream. But what should you buy for your dad?? Why are the dads so hard?? arghhhh it drives my crazy!!

3:38 PM  
Blogger TP said...

I hope someone gets me the journal - that's such a great idea x

5:29 PM  
Blogger tiny banquet committee said...

I love your suggestions and the bag of squirrels!

11:20 AM  
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Blogger JOMAMA said...

Love this! And I would love to hear Auntie Ann's reaction to the Oprah Winfrey call!!

6:15 PM  

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